Matthew 6:14
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
It may seem as if it’s really impossible to forgive this time. But it’s extremely worth it. Despite how difficult it may be, it is doable. We all just need some help. We can’t do it alone. We need the supernatural help of the Lord.
We are people made of spirit, soul, and body. We have an intellect, but we also have emotions or feelings that affect our bodies. When we forgive, we release our offender of the wrong they’ve done to us and no longer hold it against them. We also release those negative emotions of anger and hurt, which translate to stress on the body.
As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, and “members of one body,” we were “called to peace.” So, we should “let the peace of Christ rule” in our hearts (Colossians 3:15). Unforgiveness and the angst it causes do not make room for peace.
Our Wonderful Counselor (Peleh Yoetz, in Hebrew) has given us access to His Holy Spirit, who helps us to be successful in the act of forgiveness. However, forgiveness isn’t easy and in some instances feels impossible, but it is doable with the Lord’s help.
I’m reminded of two instances where I was angry and hurt in two different work situations, but because I involved God in my situation, I was able to forgive and move past the offenses. One was a supervisor who rudely disrespected me.
The one thing I didn’t do right was I refused to share the offense with him, as I didn’t want him to think I was being petty or oversensitive. Instead, I stewed in the offense, letting it replay repeatedly in my mind after I’d left the office. The Bible clearly addresses offense in Matthew 18:15-17:
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
So I decided to actively remember what my heavenly Father says about forgiveness and do something about it. I didn’t have the feeling inside to forgive because I felt justified in my anger, and could not change the way I felt at that time. However, I wanted to forgive. Yet, I chose to forgive intellectually, since I could not do so emotionally.
I knew the truth according to the Bible, but I just didn’t want to acknowledge it right away. I wanted to dwell on what was done to me in pity. However, I really didn’t want to go to bed angry and knew I had to face him again in the office the next day.
At this point, I knew I had to take those emotions to the Lord for help to change my feelings. So, before bed that night, I prayed that I’d forgive my supervisor, but asked that God would help me to truly move past it in my heart, as I had no real feelings of forgiveness. I felt the same: mad, but with the willingness to let it go. I went to sleep that night and awoke the next morning; in all honesty, with no feelings of anger. I was amazed. Also, I never told my supervisor that I had been offended by him, though I should have. However, I figured since I had forgiven him, what was the point? Yet a kind and honest talk might have helped him in the future.
Now I’m not saying this is what happens in every case of offense, as every case is different. However, we are told to forgive, so we truly can forgive in every case. God doesn’t tell us to do anything that we are unable to do. There may be other unique ways he chooses to bring about our sincere forgiveness.
In the next instance, I was new to a work environment, and the person who helped me with my new position was very curt and unpleasant in her assistance. She was offensive in her behavior, and I was warned that every new person had to incur her wrath.
However, I need to give some credit to my local church home at the time, which was very strong in teaching biblical principles for relationships. I drew from them what I had learned in our Bible studies. I found it an interesting challenge to try out these bible truths and see what I’d get.
I was determined to show her respect and kindness, and it wasn’t long before she was my best friend at that office–to the point where she invited me for dinner with her and a few neighbors at her and her husband’s home, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Turned out she was nothing like the mean woman she tried to portray herself as, and I never had another problem with her for the duration of my time with that company.
Nevertheless, this was another time where I didn’t tell her about what she did that offended me; I just treated her the opposite of the way she treated me. Yet I’m learning to become more transparent. I later found she was actually a softy inside. Sometimes, it’s not really about us being so unliked, but the person who’s being mean that has issues and needs our compassion. No doubt they need our honesty too, but only in the right spirit.
Now, of course, there may be cases of abuse where situations are handled differently. Yet the result remains the same. We must forgive. Being led by the Holy Spirit in each case of offense may require different ways of communicating. Also, one may not necessarily want or need to continue a relationship with the offender. However, unforgiveness is not an option as the teachings of Jesus require that we forgive those who have wronged us.
We can be sure there will be many times in life when we’ll be offended by others. Yet, it has been to my benefit to take every case to the Lord in prayer for His wisdom and spiritual strength in forgiving someone. He can give you the ability to forgive, release, and have peace about the offense. Just don’t try to do it alone. Let God’s Holy Spirit help you succeed, remembering, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11).
Ms. Rita's Minute 