Getting Along

Romans 12:18, NIV

 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.“

Do you increasingly find it difficult to get along well with others? Observing all of the arguing, misunderstandings and frustrations among those around us, and perhaps within ourselves, we could all use some tips on how to communicate.

It appears everybody is mad at somebody. Yet there are ways we can get along so much better and let me be the first in line to take notes on how to do so.

Here are some biblical instructions to help us in relating to others:

1. “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12, NIV). This involves imagining yourself as the other person or people, showing empathy, considering another person’s feelings, experiences, and emotions. How would you feel, and what would you do, if the shoe were on the other foot?
2. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV). In behaving this way, we are considerate, thoughtful, friendly and caring. We remember how we’ve needed God’s forgiveness. So, we extend forgiveness to others who have offended us. The Bible even goes so far as to show how what we do, determines how we’ll be treated. In other words, Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
3. “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:13, NIV). This means we inspire one another with support, hope, and uplifting interaction, using words that edify one another. One can become cynical and feel hopeless, leading to bitterness, when they are consistently barraged with deception and wrongdoing. An encouraging word can make one’s day.
4. “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16, NIV). This is a very important part of getting along. It shows our need for, and trust in, God’s help toward others’ lives as well as ours. It shows humility to pray good things for someone else, as well as confess where we’ve missed the mark, especially when that person has hurt us.
5. “Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians 4:25, NIV). Consistently being honest with one another is a great way for trust to grow in our relationships. While our trust should be first and foremost in God, there is an element of trust we place in accepting and relying on someone as a true friend.
6. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, NIV). Sometimes, we can be so focused on what we want to say or how we will reply to someone, that we miss what the other person is actually saying in a conversation. This involves us sharpening our listening and attention skills, for the love of whoever we’re speaking with, listening closely to what they are communicating, so that we understand them well. We don’t want to be those quick to anger or dismissive of what is spoken.

The Bible shows us many ways of relating to one another successfully, but it takes much practice, humility and boldness to form good habits of communication, fellowship and friendship. It really is possible for us to get along with everyone, if we’ll just show one another grace in whatever our connections may be. God has masterfully provided us the scriptural information necessary to get along well. We must now ask for the power of God’s Holy Spirit to help us to do it.