Matthew 10:27
“What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.”
We are all familiar with the temptation to say something upsetting in frustration or anger. Yet I’m trying to consistently remind myself to be cautious of the words I speak. Why? Not only because words have power, but they produce death and life. Not to mention we are accountable for those words we speak. Hence, it’s best to speak as Jesus has spoken. People did not always like what He said, but that was not because He spoke evil or a lie. My solace is that Jesus will tell us what to speak by His Spirit and the Bible if we are open to reading and listening. Proverbs 10:11 reminds us that “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.”
Our human nature desires us to be understood and heard, with a need for expression of our feelings, which isn’t really a bad thing. What’s needed is that we aren’t too quick to speak, but take notice of what we are about to say; whether it is helpful or hurtful to those who may hear it. Not to mention how much we should say. This may be difficult to do and must be learned and exercised.
Often, if we’re especially emotional, we can let those emotions cause our speech to be either damaging or a blessing of encouragement and inspiration. Understanding how and when to impart information helps to keep us in line with using godly wisdom in what we say and how we say it.
If we are rather introverted and quiet, we may not be heard very often speaking words out loud. Or, if we are rather choleric, decisive, and goal-oriented in personality, we might be curt with our words, often not taking into account the consequences of what we say. Many great leaders have choleric personalities, and the good thing is that they get things done and get their points across frankly. Yet, in some instances, they may lack tactfulness in doing so. Assertiveness can often be mistaken for aggressiveness.
We can learn from Jesus that He is gentle and humble in heart, and with Him we find rest for our souls (Matthew 11:29). Hence, His words are full of compassion and security, with warnings and assurances sprinkled throughout. Jesus told us in John 6:63 that the words He spoke were full of the Spirit and life. I’m convinced we need God’s Holy Spirit to help us in this endeavor of using our words in a holy manner. We cannot consistently do it without Him.
However, using wisdom and kindness in our communication does not negate correction or reproof. We are also told to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16). Yet understanding the importance of deeds, not just words (James 2:17). Though no human’s love matches that of Jesus, there were times He said some pretty hard things to certain people; things they just weren’t trying to hear! Nevertheless, they were the truth and apparently needed to be heard, as in saying those things, He did not sin.
Below, I’ve listed some verses of Scripture to help us remember the importance of using our words wisely. We can use wisdom in our speech through daily practice, as we are sure to encounter ample opportunities in our interactions with various types of people. In any event, we should be ready for those who take offense even when what we communicate is helpful and necessary. In those cases, we might just have to walk away or add a word of encouragement depending upon the circumstance.
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Proverbs 10:19
Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 17:14
Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
Proverbs 17:27
The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.
Proverbs 18:21
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 20:3
It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.
Matthew 11:29
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 12:36
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.
Luke 6:45
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
